Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Barsexuality is the new black.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Randomize
