It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
