I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
