Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
