Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
