Your face is a jimmy john
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
