hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
