A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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