i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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