Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
