He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Is it because I queefed?
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
