If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
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