your parents love me but you hate me
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize