How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
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