do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
