Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Randomize
