so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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