Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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