That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I think a kid would responsible me up
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
