I feel like abortions should bother me more
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
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