I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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