Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
cat food counts as protein by the way
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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