I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
