If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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