hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
