you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
be right there i have to get my cape
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize
