It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
