I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
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