Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
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