you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
