He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I have feelings that need drinking.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize