Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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