Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
