so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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