you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Randomize
