Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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