i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I just want nice things and good sex
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
