she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize