My room smells like vodka and shame
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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