did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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