I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
