Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
