We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Randomize
