i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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