new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
It's never too late to be topless.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
