i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
