god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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