Fine. I'll sleep in my office
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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