youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
