Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
