So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
