yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
