Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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