What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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