i need an iv and a liver transplant
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
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