after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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