Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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