im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
