Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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