So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
