so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
